The Article

　　精講精練過程中學(xué)員體現(xiàn)出的問題:

　　我們先來看一道題目：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: For future success, relating well to others is more important than studying hard at school.

　　某學(xué)員的觀點(diǎn)為Studying hard is more important for future success，并完成了以下的段落：

　　[Topic Sentence]First of all, studying hard at school can lay a good foundation. [Explanation] Medicine and law are both need long time to study's subject. People should learn at least three years to have a basic recognition. [Example]For example, one day a man goes to the hospital. And the doctor who is curing the man says that I may not bring you a healthy body because I can get this job result from my friend. Actually I am not good at it. So I have a question is if you meet a doctor just like this, what would you do? And what would you think about it? This type of people cannot be allowed to appear in the society. It is an opposite instance.

　　雖然此段的結(jié)構(gòu)很清晰，但是在內(nèi)容層面，還是有很多常見錯誤發(fā)生：

　　1. 解釋與主題句邏輯聯(lián)系不緊密。解釋的精髓在于將主題句的抽象概念進(jìn)行第一層次的具體化，并起到把主題與例子聯(lián)系起來的橋梁作用。但是，以上文段當(dāng)中問題比較明顯。首先，主題句中的要點(diǎn)在于hard，而解釋的部分卻表達(dá)了long time. 時間長跟努不努力沒有關(guān)系。

　　Problematic: Medicine and law are both need long time to study's subject. People should learn at least three years to have a basic recognition.

　　Revised: The success of many elites in different fields[埋下伏筆，為例子做鋪墊] is the

　　result of unrelenting efforts[同義改寫，呼應(yīng)主題句] in their school days.

　　2. 例證欠缺說服力差。例子需要圍繞主題句和解釋部分的邏輯展開，比如這道題，最核心的邏輯鏈條便是由studying hard帶來的success。作者想用一個反例來說明如果不好好學(xué)習(xí)，能力不夠是沒法在社會上生存的。但是在表達(dá)方式上過于口語化，而且語言質(zhì)量不高。

　　Problematic: For example, one day a man goes to the hospital. And the doctor who is curing the man says that I may not bring you a healthy body because I can get this job result from my friend. Actually I am not good at it. So I have a question is if you meet a doctor just like this, what would you do? And what would you think about it? This type of people cannot be allowed to appear in the society. It is an opposite instance.

　　Revised: Doctors serve as an excellent example. [正例]In order to become successful doctors, medical students must read thousands of professional books and papers at school, take numerous tests and spend long hours in the laboratory. No one can deny that hard work at school greatly contributes to their reputation and expertise. Patients will be more comfortable receiving medical treatment from these doctors. [反例]Conversely, no one is willing to see a doctor who is poor in academics but good at establishing social connections.

　　除了內(nèi)容方面，還有些鍵盤操作和頁面布局的常見問題：

　　1. Insert鍵

　　學(xué)員們都會使用"Backspace"（退格鍵）刪除光標(biāo)前錯誤的字符，或"Delete"（刪除鍵）刪除光標(biāo)后的錯誤字符。不過，如果碰到了夾在"Backspace鍵"和"Delete鍵"之間的"Insert鍵"后，鍵盤輸入模式變?yōu)?quot;改寫"，即，新輸入的內(nèi)容會覆蓋掉光標(biāo)以后的內(nèi)容。如果想解除"改寫"其實(shí)也很簡單，再次按下Insert鍵即可還原為"插入"。這個看似簡單的操作，在實(shí)際操作中難倒了很多同學(xué)。

　　2.  空格

　　學(xué)生在實(shí)際鍵盤輸入的過程中，慣常的在標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號，尤其是逗號和句號之后并不空格，而直接繼續(xù)輸入下面的內(nèi)容，或者先空格，然后在敲標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號，這都是典型的輸入格式錯誤。We work hard for brighter future, and our parents always support us.√

　　We work hard for brighter future,and our parents always support us.×

　　We work hard for brighter future ,and our parents always support us.×

　　3. 段落開頭的格式

　　英文段落開頭的格式分為兩種，縮進(jìn)式和齊頭式。

　　縮進(jìn)式：英文段落開頭的縮進(jìn)式與現(xiàn)代漢語的段落開頭很相似。在段落開頭第一個單詞之前空出4至8個字符。采用這種方式的文章，段落與段落之間不用空行。

　　齊頭式：顧名思義，每段開頭頂格寫，不用留空。但是，需要特別注意的是，如果采用了齊頭式，段落與段落之間一定要空行。

　　The author

　　孫煒，北京新東方學(xué)校托福項(xiàng)目研發(fā)專員，北京新東方學(xué)校托福寫作教師。教學(xué)內(nèi)容貫穿英漢語言本質(zhì)的區(qū)別，擅長幫助學(xué)員打開寫作思路，尋找素材。教學(xué)風(fēng)格嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)細(xì)致。

　　What do students think of him

　　"從商業(yè)評論到火影忍者，從人生感悟到神奇寶貝，80后的怪蜀黍--好夸張的感覺。"

　　"孫煒的托福寫作觀--寫作像辯論，你很有可能會堅(jiān)持一種自己不認(rèn)同的觀點(diǎn)，在有限的時間里不得已要暫時放下自己的世界觀與對錯評判標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。但是托福畢竟是語言考試，選好答的，別用自己的未來去賭一把不吐不快！"

　　"吉娃娃飼養(yǎng)專家，超有愛心的。"